It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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