You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
