Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I am naked and annoyed.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize