Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
