yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
