I smell stomach acid.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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