i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
