He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
