Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You can't just leave with hair like that
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
