Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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