I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So much rum. So many feels.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
