i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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