Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
