Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Drunk is not a location!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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