for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
