i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
