the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
