With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
