Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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