he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
