smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
