you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
