He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
