A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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