dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
