He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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