I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Four minutes until I can fart!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
