His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
