You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
