I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
