he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
