so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
