Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize