Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
