Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize