Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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