just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
