how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
