No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
