Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
