A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he thought i was a dude.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
