YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize