i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
