Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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