New invention idea: vibrating tampons
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
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