no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
