I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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