I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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