Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
