Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize