dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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