I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize