Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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