she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
