yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
