I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
