Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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