i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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