so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
