this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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