The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
