tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
its not stalking. its research.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
