he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
