Only a mothe r could love this liver
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
His nipple licking is glorious
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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