We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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