I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
