Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
