Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
