Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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